Tempted by the Fruit of Another...
So, as I said before, Jenna was Alan's ex-girlfriend. And not just his ex-girlfriend...she was the big one for him. She was his Kara & his Roxanne all rolled into one. They met about 2 years previous, when I had been dating Veronica again...in fact, they met right about the time I left off with my last proper post. And for a while, they were great together.
Jenna was an amazing girl; she came from a rich family (like all of Alan's girls always did...somehow), but she was as humble & unpretentious as can be. She was smart as a whip, had a personality that could charm a rabid pit bull, and was, without any exagerration at all, one of the absolute most beautiful girls you could ever hope to see. She was about 5'1, with long, curly hair, dark Latino features, and a smile that could blind Sammy Hagar. Oh yeah, she was also a swimsuit model on the side.
Everything was great in their relationship, until Alan did what he's best at; slipped one past the goalie. he got her pregnant about a year after they started dating, and, both of them being Catholics, this was something of a crisis.
Now, I should probably explain something about Alan; through no fault of his own, the boy is extremely fertile. He has managed to be responsible for 5 pregnancies; most while using some sort of protection. I know girls who won't even sit across the table from him at dinner for fear of getting knocked up. So, I guess the inevitable was bound to happen with Jenna eventually. But, when it did, it was ugly. Real, real ugly.
The poor girl flipped out, rightly so, and after much agonizing, she decided she had to get an abortion; she wasn't ready to bring a kid into the world, and she could not let her parents find out, no matte how much it would pain her. She & I had become close friends by that time, and she wanted me to be the one to take her to have the procedure done. I told her that I would be glad to, but I thought it was Alan's place to do it. She was still mad at him at the time, but eventually she relented & they went & had it done....and Jenna was never the same afterwards.
Their relationship now was built upon a lot of pent-up anger on her part, and they started to fight constantly, with her usually running to me to talk about it afterwards. Alan knew & encouraged this, as he knew I would have his back in any situation..which I did. Pretty soon, they reconciled & she offered to give him another chance, which wenty ok for a while.
Until she got pregnant again.
This time, she was inconsolable. She was more upset than I had ever imagined seeing her, and I felt so bad for her that it killed me to see her going through all that. Alan tried to be there for her as much as she would let him, but she could barely stand to see him at that point, and neither he or I could blame her. This time, I took her to get the procedure at first, and I held her for hours afterwards while she cried it all out.
I remember that was the first time that I wished I had met her before Alan had....
Sfter the second incident, she & Alan were all but over. They tried to get back together a few times, but it never took; the pain & resentment had built up too much, and things got very, very ugly between them on more than one occasion. Alan was devastated, because he really loved Jenna...and I was dissapointed,too, because I loved them both, and wanted them to be able to be together; I knew she was good for him. Hell, Jenna would have been good for anybody.
But, eventually, it ended. Not with a whimper, either, but a bang. Their breakup was almost as ugly as mine & Kara's had been, if not more so. Alan is a pretty resilient guy, and he keeps his feelings close to his vest, but Jenna was a wreck, and I was the shoulder she picked to cry on. So, the rest of that summer...the last summer before she went off to medical school, in fact...we became even closer. We spent a lot of time together, and we grew very used to each other. At first, she would hang out maily with me & our other friend Pete, but eventually it was just she & I most of the time, which was fine by me. She was Alan's ex, though, and we have a very clear set of rules about those situations, so I always kept my distance, difficult as it was to do so. And trust me, if you knew Jenna, you'd know it was pretty damn difficult.
Eventually, she left for med school in Chicago, and we only talked sporadically. Over this time, Veronica & I had broken up yet again (after she had freaked out one night, slapped me for no reason, and knocked all my computer equipment off my desk by slinging her bag around in a fit of rage), and Alan had met the girl he would eventually marry (although they started out as just friends...remind me to tell the story about how she & I ended up in bed together before she & Alan ever did). The holidays came around, and when Jenna came back into town on school break, she called me up & we started hanging out again.
We saw a few movies over the Christmas holidays, and talked a lot on the phone. She was still shaken over everything that had happened with Alan, and she hadn't dated anyone since...which for her must have meant carrying a can of mace & wearing a paper bag over her head 24/7. Many times, we talked about what might happen had things been different & she had met me first, but that pact with my friends was made under very serious circumstances, and that was how I took it...seriously. I never so much as made a move on her.
Then came December 24th; Christmas Eve eve (that's what my grandpa used to call it. He'd call me into the living room when I was a kid, and ask me "Lil' X, you know what t'day is? It's Christmas Eve eve!". Jenna called me up & came over becuase she said she had to see me. I figured it was to give me a Christmas present...which immediately panicked me, 'cus I hadn't gotten her a damn thing. Nevertheless, I told her to come on over; I knew Jenna wasn't like Kara, and I wouldn't be in danger of having anything thrown at my head just because I hadn't gotten her a present.
So, she showed up about nine that night. My roommate let her in & so I didn't see her until she opened the door to my bedroom where I was. She had on this silky black top, and a pair of skin-tight pants that I'm sure you girls have some common name for, but that I just refer to as totally hot. She also wasn't carrying a present that I could see.
We made some small talk for a minute or two, and then I asked her what she had wanted to see me about. I remember she looked down for a moment, grabbed my hand, and led me over to sit down on my bed. Then, she looked up at me with those, big, brown eyes, and simultaneously said both the best & worst thing I could have ever hoped to hear come out of those gorgeous lips.
She said "X...I think I'm in love with you".
Well, now....
I didn't know what to say. A lesser man, or at least a lesser one than I was at that moment, would have just kissed her right then & there...and my god, did I ever want to. but I couldn't....I could never break the pact like that...even for someone like Jenna. Even if others had broken it before...I knew I couldn't do it. or, I hoped I couldn't, anyway.
So, I just said "You are?".
"I don't know...", she said, "but I think I might be."
"Well, when did this happen?", I asked.
"I don't know...I've always felt close to you, you know that...but the last few weeks, I just feel....closer. Haven't you?", she looked up at me as she asked.
"Well, you know, wether I have or not....it's not exactly that simple.", I said. "You know that."
"I know...I know...you boys & your 'rules'.", she said solemnly.
"Those rules are what's kept us all friends this long...", I told her.
"Oh, no they're not...", I remember her saying, "they're just there to keep your ego's from getting hurt..."
"Maybe that's part of it, but you know it's more than that...you know what happened with me and...that girl" (I had an aversion to speaking her name out loud for many years; she was always "that girl").
"Well, what do you think he would say?", she asked. I started to speak, and she interrupted me with "No, you're right; I know what he'd say...I don't want to hurt his feelings any more than you do...or hurt you guys' relationship"
"Well, what do you want to do, then?", I asked her. I noticed about then that we were still holding hands, and she was rubbing mine with her finger, in a way that I really...liked.
"I don't know....but I wanted to tell you. I just wanted to see....how you felt about it.", she looked down at our hands, still entertwined. I remember she looked back up at me then, and I could smell the sweetness of her hair so close to me, and the way her eyes locked on mine, and I felt myself starting to lean closer to her, totally against my will, like she was some magnet drawing me toward magnetic north.
Catching myself, I hesitated for a minute, then opened my mouth to speak, but I never got the chance. Just then, like a hurricane, Pete, eternal master of the bad timing that he is, burst through the bedroom door & slid halfway in. Kramer could've learned a thing or two from him. He looked at us, sitting on the bed, holding hands, inches away from each other's face, and said "Ok....what's going on here?"
Busted.
...and back to the cliffhangers we go.
Jenna was an amazing girl; she came from a rich family (like all of Alan's girls always did...somehow), but she was as humble & unpretentious as can be. She was smart as a whip, had a personality that could charm a rabid pit bull, and was, without any exagerration at all, one of the absolute most beautiful girls you could ever hope to see. She was about 5'1, with long, curly hair, dark Latino features, and a smile that could blind Sammy Hagar. Oh yeah, she was also a swimsuit model on the side.
Everything was great in their relationship, until Alan did what he's best at; slipped one past the goalie. he got her pregnant about a year after they started dating, and, both of them being Catholics, this was something of a crisis.
Now, I should probably explain something about Alan; through no fault of his own, the boy is extremely fertile. He has managed to be responsible for 5 pregnancies; most while using some sort of protection. I know girls who won't even sit across the table from him at dinner for fear of getting knocked up. So, I guess the inevitable was bound to happen with Jenna eventually. But, when it did, it was ugly. Real, real ugly.
The poor girl flipped out, rightly so, and after much agonizing, she decided she had to get an abortion; she wasn't ready to bring a kid into the world, and she could not let her parents find out, no matte how much it would pain her. She & I had become close friends by that time, and she wanted me to be the one to take her to have the procedure done. I told her that I would be glad to, but I thought it was Alan's place to do it. She was still mad at him at the time, but eventually she relented & they went & had it done....and Jenna was never the same afterwards.
Their relationship now was built upon a lot of pent-up anger on her part, and they started to fight constantly, with her usually running to me to talk about it afterwards. Alan knew & encouraged this, as he knew I would have his back in any situation..which I did. Pretty soon, they reconciled & she offered to give him another chance, which wenty ok for a while.
Until she got pregnant again.
This time, she was inconsolable. She was more upset than I had ever imagined seeing her, and I felt so bad for her that it killed me to see her going through all that. Alan tried to be there for her as much as she would let him, but she could barely stand to see him at that point, and neither he or I could blame her. This time, I took her to get the procedure at first, and I held her for hours afterwards while she cried it all out.
I remember that was the first time that I wished I had met her before Alan had....
Sfter the second incident, she & Alan were all but over. They tried to get back together a few times, but it never took; the pain & resentment had built up too much, and things got very, very ugly between them on more than one occasion. Alan was devastated, because he really loved Jenna...and I was dissapointed,too, because I loved them both, and wanted them to be able to be together; I knew she was good for him. Hell, Jenna would have been good for anybody.
But, eventually, it ended. Not with a whimper, either, but a bang. Their breakup was almost as ugly as mine & Kara's had been, if not more so. Alan is a pretty resilient guy, and he keeps his feelings close to his vest, but Jenna was a wreck, and I was the shoulder she picked to cry on. So, the rest of that summer...the last summer before she went off to medical school, in fact...we became even closer. We spent a lot of time together, and we grew very used to each other. At first, she would hang out maily with me & our other friend Pete, but eventually it was just she & I most of the time, which was fine by me. She was Alan's ex, though, and we have a very clear set of rules about those situations, so I always kept my distance, difficult as it was to do so. And trust me, if you knew Jenna, you'd know it was pretty damn difficult.
Eventually, she left for med school in Chicago, and we only talked sporadically. Over this time, Veronica & I had broken up yet again (after she had freaked out one night, slapped me for no reason, and knocked all my computer equipment off my desk by slinging her bag around in a fit of rage), and Alan had met the girl he would eventually marry (although they started out as just friends...remind me to tell the story about how she & I ended up in bed together before she & Alan ever did). The holidays came around, and when Jenna came back into town on school break, she called me up & we started hanging out again.
We saw a few movies over the Christmas holidays, and talked a lot on the phone. She was still shaken over everything that had happened with Alan, and she hadn't dated anyone since...which for her must have meant carrying a can of mace & wearing a paper bag over her head 24/7. Many times, we talked about what might happen had things been different & she had met me first, but that pact with my friends was made under very serious circumstances, and that was how I took it...seriously. I never so much as made a move on her.
Then came December 24th; Christmas Eve eve (that's what my grandpa used to call it. He'd call me into the living room when I was a kid, and ask me "Lil' X, you know what t'day is? It's Christmas Eve eve!". Jenna called me up & came over becuase she said she had to see me. I figured it was to give me a Christmas present...which immediately panicked me, 'cus I hadn't gotten her a damn thing. Nevertheless, I told her to come on over; I knew Jenna wasn't like Kara, and I wouldn't be in danger of having anything thrown at my head just because I hadn't gotten her a present.
So, she showed up about nine that night. My roommate let her in & so I didn't see her until she opened the door to my bedroom where I was. She had on this silky black top, and a pair of skin-tight pants that I'm sure you girls have some common name for, but that I just refer to as totally hot. She also wasn't carrying a present that I could see.
We made some small talk for a minute or two, and then I asked her what she had wanted to see me about. I remember she looked down for a moment, grabbed my hand, and led me over to sit down on my bed. Then, she looked up at me with those, big, brown eyes, and simultaneously said both the best & worst thing I could have ever hoped to hear come out of those gorgeous lips.
She said "X...I think I'm in love with you".
Well, now....
I didn't know what to say. A lesser man, or at least a lesser one than I was at that moment, would have just kissed her right then & there...and my god, did I ever want to. but I couldn't....I could never break the pact like that...even for someone like Jenna. Even if others had broken it before...I knew I couldn't do it. or, I hoped I couldn't, anyway.
So, I just said "You are?".
"I don't know...", she said, "but I think I might be."
"Well, when did this happen?", I asked.
"I don't know...I've always felt close to you, you know that...but the last few weeks, I just feel....closer. Haven't you?", she looked up at me as she asked.
"Well, you know, wether I have or not....it's not exactly that simple.", I said. "You know that."
"I know...I know...you boys & your 'rules'.", she said solemnly.
"Those rules are what's kept us all friends this long...", I told her.
"Oh, no they're not...", I remember her saying, "they're just there to keep your ego's from getting hurt..."
"Maybe that's part of it, but you know it's more than that...you know what happened with me and...that girl" (I had an aversion to speaking her name out loud for many years; she was always "that girl").
"Well, what do you think he would say?", she asked. I started to speak, and she interrupted me with "No, you're right; I know what he'd say...I don't want to hurt his feelings any more than you do...or hurt you guys' relationship"
"Well, what do you want to do, then?", I asked her. I noticed about then that we were still holding hands, and she was rubbing mine with her finger, in a way that I really...liked.
"I don't know....but I wanted to tell you. I just wanted to see....how you felt about it.", she looked down at our hands, still entertwined. I remember she looked back up at me then, and I could smell the sweetness of her hair so close to me, and the way her eyes locked on mine, and I felt myself starting to lean closer to her, totally against my will, like she was some magnet drawing me toward magnetic north.
Catching myself, I hesitated for a minute, then opened my mouth to speak, but I never got the chance. Just then, like a hurricane, Pete, eternal master of the bad timing that he is, burst through the bedroom door & slid halfway in. Kramer could've learned a thing or two from him. He looked at us, sitting on the bed, holding hands, inches away from each other's face, and said "Ok....what's going on here?"
Busted.
...and back to the cliffhangers we go.
10 Comments:
heheh
Well of ~course~ she didn't really have a right to be angry with him! I've been angry with ~loads~ of people for which I didn't have a justifiable reason. huh...I might suck.
~Any~way
Huzzah for keeping your deal so far!(no, no - not doubting. just...you know. In case.)
Yeah, I have to agree with v~v . I mean, I can totally understand why it would be damn near impossible to maintain a relationship after an abortion...nevermind two...but it certainly is not one person's fault more then the other. It takes two to tango, as they say!
www.yikes.ca
hey, i slightly disagree about the abortion issue. but i must be of the minority. it IS difficult to maintain a relationship after one, and while i'm not speaking from personal experience, but i really and truly believe it depends on the level of committment between the couple, as well as their maturity levels. for the number of friends and acquaintances i've known who have been "affected" by it, i still know at least two couples who are still together after such a large, life-altering decision.
but anyway, i, like everyone else here, say good for you (for now?...we'll see with the cliffhanger) for your honor!
I, for one, admire you for sticking by your pact. If she was indeed his "Kara" no amount of time would make it okay. Good for you for choosing your friend.
Why do I feel like I've already read this story once? Weird.
I like the cliff-hangers, welcome back. :)
And oh, I'm afraid I'll have to disagree with pookalu here. Although I am sure that it is possible to continue a relationship after an abortion, in that sort of instance I can't see it being easy.
dene' -- i never claimed for any relationship to be (esp. after an abortion) "easy." but i also do not think that you think i said that. i hope!
i was merely trying to say that if a relationship is going to work, it will, regardless of whatever obstacles (abortion, infidelity, finances, etc.) a couple has faced. i'm merely looking on the bright side, that some couples i know personally who have been subjected to this particular hardship/trial, have stayed together.
so, i guess what i'm saying is this -- that alan and jenna, at that point in time, weren't meant to be together, regardless of the abortion issues. or maybe i'm just a fatalist.
dene, I felt like I've read it before, too. X, did you summarize this at some point earlier in the narrative?
Don't leave us hanging like that, man!
Alright, enough already! I'm dying of suspense here. I happened upon your blog and now I'm hooked.
I can't believe it...I'm a blog junkie.
I just stumbled across your blog and WOW. Great story. You really did a wonderful job building the suspense. I can't wait to find out what happens next!
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