Change in the Weather...
I'm a weak, weak man. or, at least that's what Lanie keeps telling me...and she's probably right.
I sent Roxanne a message yesterday, after not replying to her for over a week. I basically just told her that I wasn't mad at her, but I still didn't want to do this dance back & forth over e-mail. So, I got a letter back from her just now. It was short, but she thanked me for understanding that she didn't any harm...and that she's been thinking very carefully about what I said, and although she can't do it right this moment for reasons she didn't specify, she's thinking about the two of us sitting down to...talk about things. Whatever that means.
And, for the first time in four years, she said those three words all in a row. Not 'I'll always love you, or 'I still have feelings for you' or 'much love, or 'love always'...but straight up 'I love you'. And I wouldn't read too much into it if I didn't know she was choosing her words as carefully as I'm choosing mine.
So...who knows. In one way, it's the same as it ever was; the ball is in her court & I'm just warming the bench. On the other hand, if this is indeed what I want to happen...then maybe I'm not as big a chump as I thought. In any case...so much for moving on.
In other news, I'm gonna be moving out of my house in a few days. The rent on my place is being raised by more than I want to pay, so...drum roll...I'm gonna be moving in with Lanie for a little while. Actually, she lives in a big house that some friends of mine own, and one of the folks who was living there just moved out recently, so I'm just gonna move in there for a while as I'm saving up to buy a place. She's very excited about the whole prospect; I see visions of unrequited domesticity dancing in her head, but I just don't know how I'm gonna cope with having a roommate again...I've lived alone for so many years now. It'll probably be good for me...like all the changes I try to avoid.
Otherwise...nothing much else is new. Thanks for all you guys checkin' in on me the last few days; it's helped, really. The next week or two should be pretty interesting...
I sent Roxanne a message yesterday, after not replying to her for over a week. I basically just told her that I wasn't mad at her, but I still didn't want to do this dance back & forth over e-mail. So, I got a letter back from her just now. It was short, but she thanked me for understanding that she didn't any harm...and that she's been thinking very carefully about what I said, and although she can't do it right this moment for reasons she didn't specify, she's thinking about the two of us sitting down to...talk about things. Whatever that means.
And, for the first time in four years, she said those three words all in a row. Not 'I'll always love you, or 'I still have feelings for you' or 'much love, or 'love always'...but straight up 'I love you'. And I wouldn't read too much into it if I didn't know she was choosing her words as carefully as I'm choosing mine.
So...who knows. In one way, it's the same as it ever was; the ball is in her court & I'm just warming the bench. On the other hand, if this is indeed what I want to happen...then maybe I'm not as big a chump as I thought. In any case...so much for moving on.
In other news, I'm gonna be moving out of my house in a few days. The rent on my place is being raised by more than I want to pay, so...drum roll...I'm gonna be moving in with Lanie for a little while. Actually, she lives in a big house that some friends of mine own, and one of the folks who was living there just moved out recently, so I'm just gonna move in there for a while as I'm saving up to buy a place. She's very excited about the whole prospect; I see visions of unrequited domesticity dancing in her head, but I just don't know how I'm gonna cope with having a roommate again...I've lived alone for so many years now. It'll probably be good for me...like all the changes I try to avoid.
Otherwise...nothing much else is new. Thanks for all you guys checkin' in on me the last few days; it's helped, really. The next week or two should be pretty interesting...
9 Comments:
I don't think you're that big of a chump.
Do you think roommates will affect your blog-postability? Probably being surrounded by friends right now is a good thing. :)
Well, seeing as she's the only friend I have who knows this blog exists, I doubt it will make it very difficult. Hell, she already wants to write a guest editorial, as it is. Like that's gonna happen...
You should totally let her guest blog. This is one of those situations where you really should ignore your instinct and listen to us. I think it would be very entertaining . . . oops . . . I mean, helpful.
:-)
i'm proud of you for doing your thang.
yeah, i just wrote "thang."
good luck with the move. it'll be good...
Yep, a guest post would be pretty fun to read, I think.
And no matter what anyone says or thinks about your feelings for Roxanne, the fact is that it's your life, and you have to do whatever it is that feels right for you. It's a strange thing to give advice, because there are many people who get pissed or upset when you don't take it. It seems to slip their minds that it's merely a suggestion, not a legally binding thing. You just have to weigh all sides of the situation carefully, while considering things people have suggested, and make the best choice for you. And you're the only one who really knows what that is.
I hope that things with Roxanne work out in whatever way you hope they will.
Moving sucks, doesn't it? Ugh.
Heck yeah for a guest post!
And I don't think emailing Roxanne makes you weak. A glutton for punishment maybe, but not weak.
Good luck with the repotting!
X! Roxanne's screaming to get you back, can't you hear it? Don't wait for her to make the next move..you do it. Love doesn't just happen, you gotta make it happen.
I hope you end up with the perfect Happy Ending :).
Good luck in the move!!! Sounds like Lanie is all better too, YAY!!!
Me, I'm finally going to attempt to clean up my place and make it look more liveable!!!
So Lanie knows about this blog as in she reads it regularly? or she just knows that there is some "blog type thing" out there in the land of the internet somewhere?
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